I hate showering before an event because my mind tends to get all perfectionistic on me, and it can’t seem to stop until almost up to the point of destination. Then all the adrenaline rush disappears and what replaces the fun rush is the melodramatic down of doom. Everything just seems to stop. Time seems to stop, except this is not the good kind. this is the kind of time where change appears to never occur, and time is all but too still. Thoughts come to and fro of my past, my future, and of the everlasting present. These are the times that tries me. I have to overcome these moments so that I may be able to see the light beyond the tunnel. To see hope that is so out of reach at that present moment. Why do these moments occur? does my brain stop functioning? does my hormones hit a spurt that goes to sleep in that vortex of stand-still time? It is a vortex. and it is one that i must stop. i want to live on. forget the titanic. my soul wants to come out and play. forget old habits. remember my new year’s resolution—and remember–things do change—let it come. things like my neighborhood development. It seems to sprout a new house every time i leave…along with more new residents than new houses built. what is it about
next: maybe my parents also try to develop new ones i think they try, yet im the one who keeps them from growing new roots
